Violence and Abuse is the Stressor I chose
I had a cousin that was abused by her father. The abuse got so bad that she had to come live with my mother and father. At night she would talk about her dad would get upset and take out on her. It was very devastating to here a family member go through what she had to go through. She never receives any counseling for what she was going through. She grew up with all this baggage inside her vowing not to be like her father. She still to this day has trust issues. She has never had a lasting relationship, always choosing the wrong. I sometime wonder if she would have received counseling would her life been any different than it today?
Natural disaster in Japan
The stressor I chose and is on a lot of people mind is the natural disaster in Japan Japan
According to the experts in Japan, the radiation that has leak out from the nuclear facilities has the potential to cause many types of cancer such as thyroid cancer, bone cancer, and leukemia in young children and unborn babies. The nuclear plant is doing every thing possible to contain the radiation but they now fear that the water is contaminated. It seems that the nightmare will never end. I am praying for families in Japan
Reference:
Mother nature network: Japan March 16, 2010 . Retrieved from http://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/blogs/japans-children-most-at-risk-from-radiation
Tonetta. It is heart breaking to hear the different situations children, like what your cousin, have to go through. When I re-read your post, it occured to my that your cousin had one silver-lining. She had her aunt, uncle and you. She had a warm, loving home to turn to as a refuge. You mentioned that your cousin has difficulty maintaining positive relationships. Does your family wonder why their love and safety was not enough to overcome her experience with her father? I ask this question, because my mother mentored a girl who had a crack-head mother. My mother became upset when it was clear that my mother's love was not enough to overcome the dysfunctional situation between the girl and the girl's mother. The girl my mother mentored eventually had three children who she gave up to the state, and we believe she may be a prostitue now in Las Vegas, NV. My mother still wonders why her love was not enough. I think it is extemely difficult to compensate for a dysfunctional relationship between a child and the child's parent.... extremely difficult.
ReplyDeleteTonetta and Joy,
ReplyDeleteMy nine year old grandson was in an abusive family for the first five years of his life. He is now with his mother and his new father, they are now a great family. However, Tyler, my grandson, says he will always hate his father, and will never forget the terrible things he has done. Tyler says it will always be a part of him, no words can remove it. No matter how perfect his life is from now on, the past will never go away. You can't erase a memory that had a great effect on you.
Mary L.
I am sorry to hear that about your friend, but it sounds like she had a stable place to find comfort with your parents. Often times children and people who are abused physically and verbally never receive counseling for there abuse. I have a friend who went through a rough time with an abusive husband. At the point that he almost killed her while her child stood by, she had to seek help because she was so badly injured. I'm sure that this remains with those throughout there life. I also know from a friend of mine who is a counselor that what we experience as a child carries over into our relationships with our "Chosen Life Partner". That's how they refer to the people we marry. My husband and I had some struggles before we got married because of things I had experienced as a child and just hadn't worked through. Hopefully she can find peace in her heart and know that she is loved and cared for, even with what she went through. There is a book that this friend recommended that might help. It is called Getting the Love that you Want. I found it interesting but I will caution it will make you think about your childhood.
ReplyDeleteTonetta,
ReplyDeleteIt is truly heartbreaking to hear about the abuse that some children suffer through. They didn't ask for their situations, they had no control over it and yet they are the ones that suffer and for years down the road.
The situation in Japan is very worrisome for many reasons, not only do they have missing family members but they do not have clean water to drink and the radiation poison, which they may not know the effects of for years to come. These children will also relive these terrible memories and will most likely suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. I hope they can get counseling started for these children soon.
Amy
I want to also comment on the crisis in Japan. The reality over there is very grim. Those people are on a lot of people's hearts and minds. My dad's company had a building over there that is no longer there. They are not sure the extent of the damage, but for the most part it doesn't exist anymore. The radiation fear is more than I can imagine. I'm afraid the country is probably going to seize to exist. My dad loved visiting over there but I am thankful he was home. They are evacuating more and more people there everyday. The scare for the unborn is to much to think about. I feel as though we are going to be seeing the affects from this for years to some. The children who experience it and who are trying to cope in the aftermath with need much love, and support from anyone and everyone in the days, weeks, months, and years to come. Many lost parents and other family members. I'm sure help seems very minimal compared to what they have gone through.
ReplyDeleteTonetta:
ReplyDeleteFor some reason the first thing I thought of when I read your post is how her situation, which is truly sad, but how did if effect you as a child as well. Having to hear her stories and know that kind of violence can exist and constantly being worried about her. I think sometimes people don't realize stressors on one child can also be another child's stressor even if not in the same context. Thank god she had your family there for her though, some children are not that lucky.
The disaster in Japan deserves everyone's attention and assistance. I think if only for the sake of the children whose present life and future is being threatening, we all need to rise up and do something practical to help, no matter how little. As someone said, "the entire globe is truly our neighborhood and we can all actively and powerfully add our support to those who need it when they are in trouble". Japan needs our support and help now, lets do all we can as individuals for the sake of the children. Thanks for bringing this up, Tonetta.
ReplyDelete